1. |
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you held me in close
as we sat on the stairwell
the cold winter air
i shook like a soldier
and you rested my head
in the crook of your shoulder
and could you tell i was scared?
as you pulled me in closer
i needed you
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2. |
Human Disaster
04:56
|
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i spent the last two years in a hell
burning and spitting out embers like a pyro
built from cinderblocks and ashes that went out
i spent the last two years in the cold
shaking and shivering; icicles on my fingertips
all sharp and long like swords in my closet
i spent the last two years by the bridge
singing in a language that only the water could speak
as she wrapped me in her arms like a child
i spent the last two years looking down
over the canvas and rain drop dappled city
wondering how long before i should get out
is it honestly the best thing?
building blocks scattered out like shells
cracked by tides and the ocean
is it honestly the best thing?
friends we knew, losing time or losing sleep
shattered glass on the pavement
i spent the last two years in this house
bearing my teeth at the mirror like a vampire
looking for a face to prove my reflection
i spent the last two years in my head
screaming at flashes of light among the darkness
crawling through the mess to forage a way out
is it honestly the best thing?
building blocks scattered out like shells
cracked by tides and the ocean
is it honestly the best thing?
friends we knew, losing time or losing sleep
shattered glass on the pavement
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3. |
Let Me Down
03:21
|
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we huddled in close inside your car
snow was falling down
all alone in a cold dark town
flashing lights from inside the bar
music from the street
sounds of passing feet
bring me down, bring me down sweetly
why'd i have to wait?
why'd i have to wait?
let me down, let me down gently
why'd you have to wait?
why'd you have to wait?
it's getting late, the bottle's empty
your lipstick on the rim
i'm drowning while you swim
a sentimental symphony
this whole thing's a mess
a noise made in distress
we stare for hours by my bed
the moon spreads on the sheets
we do not need to speak
the silence tells us all we know
i was not meant for you
you were not meant for me
bring me down, bring me down sweetly
why'd i have to wait?
why'd i have to wait?
let me down, let me down gently
why'd you have to wait?
why'd you have to wait?
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4. |
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5. |
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a crowd has gathered on the banks of the snowy charles river
to watch me scramble in the waves, my limbs duress below the surf
i wake up shaking in a sweat, my pulse explodes and i reverse
i stumble to the laundromat in the cold january morning
the coffee always tastes like piss, at least that's how you would describe it
a tone of voice i'll hardly miss, but can't help hearing in idle moments
my sweatpants curl in rhythmic time, a whirlpool song collecting value
another quarter and a dime, the sidewalk screeching in the morning
i told myself that i wouldn't sit here all day
i told myself that i'd try to be powerful
i guess i'll give myself some credit for trying
|
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6. |
I Don't Wanna Go
03:04
|
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i wandered off into the dark side of my house
i hid beneath the floorboards quiet as a lonely mouse
my spirit moved across the hallway to the living room
a friendly ghost she whispered, "boy, i'll see you very soon"
as i awoke i turned these images inside my head
just to convince myself over and over and over again
that i'm not dead
i lost my parking spot cause i forgot to buy a car
i'm just so anxious lately i can't plan out very far
i tried to sort all of my photo albums alphabetically
between the dust and organizing folders i guess i must have lost my memories
i don't wanna go
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7. |
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i can't let the summer go
it's wearing me thin
this thing when i'm alone at night
it's starting to win
beer stains in the carpet dried
they're covered in mold
and i can't let the summer go
i'll head for the cold
so please, let's stay close
please, let it go
and all the fighting left us torn up, fucked, and alone
so let it go
let it go
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8. |
Boulder
04:02
|
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i am not a fighter
i am not a devil, though some may call me lucifer
these hands have built no churches, though they have written offerings
cover me in evergreen and bless me with your scriptures
wrap me in incantations and set me off on the wind
i'm all out of luck, pray for me moloch, moloch
they worship the salt, i worship the sea
the earth will hear your cries and they will come for me
i am not a sinner
i am not a rich man, though some will call me solomon
these eyes have seen the glory in the defeaning hypothesis
the raging of the boulder's roar that shook old mighty sisyphus
pull me in all directions and spread me out on the soil
i'm all out of luck, pray for me moloch, moloch
they worship the salt, i worship the sea
the earth will hear your cries and they will come for me
and you can hear the trumpets
and the bugle horns and the coronets
and the chanting and the humming
it sounds like an alarm
i'm all out of luck, pray for me moloch, moloch
they worship the salt, i worship the sea
the earth will hear your cries and they will come for me
|
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9. |
David, Age 26
03:40
|
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david is 26
and on friday decided to call it quits
at the hardware supply store on bourke & 5th
in the year of our lord, 1986
he packed up all his things
and put them in his old briefcase
he took a train to san francisco
from minnetonka, minnesota
the train it pulls in late
he remembers the pills he forgot to take
and the photo of stacy out on the lake
that decorated her coffin during the wake
his parents haven't tried to reach him
he's pretty certain that they won't
he takes a walk down by the beaches
feels the tears rise in his throat
he says "i hate this fucking city"
as he jams his hands into his coat
he boards a train to oklahoma
with everything he lost trailing like a ghost
sometimes i think of david
his neverending search for peace
i think we have a lot in common
the restlessness will never cease
|
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10. |
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11. |
||||
you’re standing in the mirror
wondering if it’s your fault that this isn’t any clearer
your makeup’s running down
mixes with the tears that fall and punctuate your fear
and it makes you wanna scream
it makes you wanna scream
it makes you wanna scream
he’s standing near the door
standing in the same place where he left you once before
puts on his overcoat
dark and tall the smell of cigarettes you used to know
you know you want to leave
but you can’t ignore the bitter fondness that he brings
you walk into the street
arm in arm to make the same mistakes you did last week
but it doesn’t have to be like this
it doesn’t have to be like this
you deserve to be happy
you deserve to be free
|
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12. |
||||
two years have passed and i’m still sitting in my room
the floor’s still covered in old laundry i won’t move
i try to process all that’s happened but i can’t recall
the feelings, the little phrases, or the rumbling sound of truth
i’ve lost a lot of friends this summer
they’ve lost a lot of their friends too
and what was once a brilliant history is all torn and creased and frayed
among the leaving, and the screaming, and the awkward parting waves
i’ve seen a lot of pain in my life
i’ve seen a lot of pain in yours
but i miss the nights we could spend yelling on the front porch
without wondering what the future holds, or how we got so bored
it’s fucked, it’s false, it’s neverending
the cycle turns and then repeats
through loves and one-night stands and protests and empty glasses
to watching evil thrive and trying to get past it
it’s been a bad year
but it’s time to move on
i’ll teach you how to be scared if you tell me how to try again
to learn to love the things that get me by
another new year, another wasteland
we’re smashing bottles filled with stale beer and regrets
we will be dancers, we will be singers, we will be teachers
we will remember what this meant
it’s been a bad year
but it’s time to move on
i’ll teach you how to be scared if you teach me how to try again
to learn to love the things that get me by
it’s been a bad year
but it’s time to move on
i’ll teach you how to be scared if you teach me how to try again
to learn to love the things that get me by
it's been a bad year
but it's time to move on
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13. |
Coda (Fade to Static)
03:02
|
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i wanna start a new life
i wanna go somewhere different
i wanna pick up the pieces of everything
i'm tired of all the waiting and trembling
don't wanna give up
i don't wanna get lost
i don't wanna be a martyr for anyone
i wanna build an image of myself that i know how to love
it's a hell of a thing
i wanna know you'll keep listening
even when the tape fades out
and our hearts are crawling out of our mouths
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